In an age when fewer couples are choosing to marry and the institution of marriage is increasingly being seen as just a legal document, one young priest in the Diocese of Parramatta is teaching couples to see the “divine nature” of the sacrament and the importance of their ongoing relationship with God.
Fr Adam Carlow has been running his marriage preparation course for more than year and each time he runs it he gets more couples signing up. This is despite many of them also doing a general marriage preparation course run by the Diocese.
Fr Adam says while the Diocesan course is very useful, he saw a real need for more “accompaniment from the priest”.
“That relationship is important, especially when we look at grounding their marriage in the context of God and his Church,” he says.
Fr Adam Carlow during his marriage preparation course. Image: Jazz Chalouhi/ Diocese of Parramatta
Fr Adam started the course when he was an Assistant Priest at St Madeleine’s Sophie Barat Parish, at Kenthurst, and has continued running it at the Parish of Richmond, where he moved in May, also as Assistant Priest.
He designed it himself, drawing on Scripture passages and a wide array of religious writings to focus on theological side of marriage, which he covers in three half-day sessions. He says he leaves the “practical stuff” to the course run by the Diocese.
As part of the marriage preparations for each couple, he also holds several one-on-one meetings, often over a coffee, where he gets to know them better. “It’s a way to say to them that they’re cared for and that God loves them,” he says.
Fr Adam Carlow during his marriage preparation course. Image: Jazz Chalouhi/ Diocese of Parramatta
‘How marriage works in the eyes of God’
Fr Adam’s approach has struck a chord with couples, who not only find his lessons fun and engaging, but spiritually meaningful.
For one couple, Brittany Maggs, 25, and her fiancé Alex Mather, 28, doing the course changed their view about what marriage should be about.
“It has opened our eyes to just how important marriage is and just how seriously it should be taken,” Brittany says.
“It has shown both of us that having God at the centre of our marriage is extremely important and will help us to have a long marriage.”
Fr Adam with couples who did the course earlier this year. Image: Jazz Chalouhi/ Diocese of Parramatta
The couple, parishioners at St Madeleine’s Sophie Barat who have been together for six years, met Fr Adam when he was still a priest at the parish.
They particularly liked how, during the course, he was approachable and made lessons fun. His youth and the way he explained things enabled them to understand “exactly how marriage works in the eyes of God”.
“It really brought us closer together and we love that Fr Adam had us reflect on certain things and talk to each other about it,” Brittany says. “It has taught us to slow down and actually listen to what each other is saying.”
Another couple, Claudia Butjerevic and Nicholas Sheehy, both 25, who also attended Fr Adam’s course at Kenthurst, say it brought the real meaning of marriage “back to centre stage” after the fuss of organising everything else for the big day.
“It brought the idea of service and honour back into the picture,” Claudia says. “How our life together is first and foremost about willing the good of the other and about bringing one another to Christ and to heaven.”
Claudia Butjerevic and Nicholas Sheehy. Image: Jazz Chalouhi/ Diocese of Parramatta
She and Nicholas have been together for nine years and say they know their relationship is strong and built on good foundations. What they didn’t know was how to “have Christ reflected in our relationship”.
“Fr Adam gave valuable insight into how Scripture views marriage, how women and men are meant to honour, serve and love as Christ did.
“Interpreting Catholic teaching is complicated and takes years of study. We needed that knowledge to have a richer marriage, so naturally we consulted an expert.”
She says while she lives in Kenthurst, neither of them were parishioners of St Madeleine’s Sophie Barat and only knew of Fr Adam after attending one of his Masses.
“Nick and I had looked at each other mid-service and knew this was who we wanted to marry us,” says Claudia, whose wedding day is in November.
“We loved working with Fr Adam and will continue to sing his praises.”
Image: Jazz Chalouhi/ Diocese of Parramatta
‘Mirrors God’s covenant’
Fr Adam says marriage is the most important decision couples will ever make – it is who they choose to spend the rest of their lives with and start a family with – so they need to approach the preparation for marriage seriously.
But modern society has reduced marriage to “some kind of legal agreement” and has forgotten, or does not want to interfere with, what happens after the ceremony.
“I think we’ve lost sight of the divine nature of marriage,” he says.
“Marriage in fact mirrors God’s covenant with humanity. The married couple echoes God’s faithfulness, permanency, forgiveness and love with mankind.
“The vows they make are so powerful that it does, in a spiritual way, bind them together in a union of love.”
But he says this relationship also has a “heavenly purpose”.
“Together they build their lives towards the kingdom of God. I pray for them, that their home here on earth will reflect their future home in the Father’s house.”
This article was originally published in the 2025 Season of Creation | Spring edition of the Catholic Outlook Magazine. You can read the digital version here or pick up a copy in your local parish.
